A Consumer Tip I Learned from Bill Burr, and one of my own.

I pride myself on getting the most out of customer service. I absolutely hate what corporations do to maximize profit. I think they’re ruining this country with their endless greed, which comes not only in the form of price gouging but also in more extreme cases that change the landscape of this country both politically and economically. Some of these methods involve lobbying that changes laws, tax codes, and other measures that corrupt a system not built to withstand modern-day capitalistic corruption. This corruption has utterly paralyzed progress in this country. Other ways include how Uber, Lyft, Airbnb, and other tech companies have changed the landscape economically. Driving a yellow cab, owning a car service business, owning property, renting property, and the hotel industry, among countless others, have changed irrevocably with technological advances.

Here, "extreme" does not mean rare; it is actually the standard. Every business has maximized its potential through algorithmic efficiency, stripping a lot of industries of their souls and reducing them to mere transactions. I say all this to emphasize that I love getting the most I can from these corporations, so I complain every chance I get when things don’t go right. I’m going to start including a lot of consumer tips here because I want people to maximize their experiences with these predatory companies.

I think it’s very important to support small businesses, and it’s scary how many businesses I see going out of business that have provided decades of service and cultivated loyal followings.

The first tip I’m going to give in this series of customer service advice was actually shared by Bill Burr on a podcast. When you’re talking to a customer service representative to try to maximize what they’re going to give you to rectify a situation that went poorly, you should never curse. As soon as you curse, they will hang up. Aside from being a terrible strategy, the person on the phone did nothing to deserve an angry attitude. I normally go to great lengths to distinguish the employee from the corporation I’m talking to. I thank the person for their time and emphasize that I know they’re just doing their job. I try to be as friendly as possible, and then I tell them that the corporation is at fault and make that distinction.

Bill Burr’s tip is to keep using the word “unacceptable.” It is magic. You keep saying “unacceptable” until you get transferred to a supervisor who is authorized to give you a monetary resolution. When they come back, you keep saying “that’s unacceptable. Please see what else you can do. Thank you for your time, Nancy.” Nancy will eventually come back with the strongest resolution they can offer.

Thanks for reading. And by the way, the Bill Burr tip is just the word “unacceptable.” The rest is my tip. You’re welcome.